How Does Your Garden Grow

Back in my Nebraska days, I always had a garden. That's what us Nebraskans do in Nebraska, we grow gardens. 

I'd pay a young guy $30 to come with his little Ford tractor and pull-behind tiller to turn my back yard garden into a fine, rich black soil canvas. The seeds were my paint that created a Living Masterpiece of Sweet Corn, Cucumbers, Tomatoes and lots and lots and lots of flowers. Four o'clocks were my favorite, next Cosmos, Marigolds, short and tall Zinnias, giant 8-foot tall Sunflowers and Pumpkins. Not to eat, but to give to the neighborhood kids for Halloween Jack-O-Lanterns. Lawn clippings went between the rows to keep the weeds down and hold the moisture in. 

Oh yeah, the easy-peasy Nebraska garden, with soil so rich and ready to serve your garden needs that seeds just magically sprouted like they just couldn't wait to stroke your Master Gardener ego. 

That's been over 30 years ago.

Now, I'm attempting to turn a former goat pen into an Arizona garden. Lots of "fertilizer" from those goats. When it's combined with hay that was trampled into the "fertilizer" and then trampled some more, it becomes adobe brick material. Once you soak it down with water, you can scrape a 1/4" off the top with a shovel. Wet it down again the next day and scrape another 1/4" off.

By 2035 I should be at an acceptable planting depth.

We did attempt to till an area in March with an Ace Hardware rented tiller. A meager attempt to be sure, but the Nebraska farm girl in me had to try. 

To date I have a row of Four O'Clocks attempting to pop their tiny heads out of the goat poop garden, as well as a few Cosmos, Bush Beans and the brave Onions are waving their green tops like banners of victory across this battlefield of a garden.

My row of cowardly Sweet Corn is still hiding underground. My Nebraska Cornhusker DNA is seething with impatience at its sloth-like progress. 

I actually grew some tomato and sunflower plants from seed in the greenhouse. A meager crop, but being a Green House Goddess is new to me. I'm a very slow Green House Goddess-In-Training. One tomato plant and 4 sunflowers have been transplanted and surviving! 

Now lets talk about critters.

We've been warned by locals that all gardens are fair game for rabbits, skunks, raccoons and the infamous deer that roam town like street gangs looking for gardens to maim and destroy. 

SO, all gardens must be barricaded and secured like Fort Knox. 

Fences, gates and more fencing attached to fences lined with concrete blocks and more fencing so garden thieves cannot dig under the fencing, secured to fencing surrounded by fencing. 

Some days I can't figure out how to get out of my own garden.

Truth be told, anything that manages to survive may very well taste and/or smell like goat poop anyway.

But hey! If by summer's end, the garden hasn't grown, I'll just scrape the goat poop off my shoes, drink a glass of wine and make a toast to doing better next year!

Cheers y'all and Carry On!