no fear

no fear
No Fear!

Monday, July 26, 2010

To BE or not to BE

I love silence.


Stillness suits me.


That’s a tough trait to be attached to in a world that wraps its arms around multi-taskers.


Hey, I used to multi-task with the best of ‘em! It’s just what folks did and come heck or high water I was gonna prove my “worth” to the world by juggling more (or at least as much) as everyone else.


Hmm…so how did that all turn out for ya Beck?


Well, there’s this big blank spot between about 1977 and 2001 that I can’t quite bring into focus. I think there were a couple of kids in that time stretch ;-) A couple years of college, several meaningless and totally unfulfilling jobs and several that served me very well, lots of shallow relationships and a few priceless friendships, graduations, funerals, divorce court appearances, some much celebrated victories and many “I’m throwing in the towel” defeats.


But what I do remember the most are the times when I could just “be”. When stillness surrounded me and for a moment, and only a moment, I could see the forest AND the trees. Clarity that eluded me like the plague found its way to my side and held my hand for a spell.


And how much I loved it.


And how wonderful it felt.


And now?


Getting’ older suits me well too ... I guess. While most folks struggle with the passage of time, I rather enjoy the stillness I’ve given myself permission to enjoy.


I also want it made clear that work deadlines still rear their ugly heads frequently in my world, but that’s a good thing cuz it means I have payin' work. To a free-lancer (which is another label for a “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME” attitude I’ve acquired over the years) that’s like bein’ a kid in a VERY large candy store. With those deadlines come a lot of “noise” and 12 – 18 hour work days.


Schedules, social calendars and the usual mix of life drama waft in and out the front door, like folks stoppin’ by for a cup of coffee and some good’ ole’ neighborhood gossip.


And all that’s just A-OK cuz when it’s time to just sit in my world of quiet, I politely tell everyone the party’s over and show ‘em where the exit is.


So as I sit here in the forest listening to Freddie and Pam’s chickens cackle, the hummingbirds buzzin’ ‘round my head and a coyote pup yippin’ for its momma to come get him cuz it’s nap time, I can’t help but get the warm and fuzzies deep inside my Soul as I get my quiet time fix.


I guess beyond all the hoop-n-holler out there in the “real world” there is a place where silence lovers like me can exist, if only for a while, before jumping through life’s hoops.


Ooops…gotta GO!


About 12 hours of recording to crank out today.


Switchin’ out my “not doin’ nothin” hat for my “get-er-done” hat!


Adios Blog Amigos ;-)

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