Almost the rest of the story

Now I’m fairly comfortable in my own skin, so to speak.  

I’ve worked many years at balancing work, fun, responsibility and personal growth.  

It’s a tricky path with wicked switchbacks, potholes and “dead end” barriers but also arrow-straight stretches of wide open spaces where I can just breathe deeply and coast.

I thought I had a pretty good sense of my tolerance levels and ability to be flexible when needed.

Oh boy….

Before I begin telling this tale I’d like to make it clear that I’m going to be purposely vague.  After all, there are 2 sides to every story and my side is the only one you’re likely to hear.  

My blog, my side, LOL.

We’ve had 5 previous work camper jobs.  Each carried its own challenges but there were always periods of training, support staff, set days off, clearly defined duties and the tools you needed to do your jobs.

This new summer “job” we’d secured early in 2021 sounded perfect.  Exactly what we’d been looking for.  The only surprise was it was in a state we hadn’t intended to spend the summer in but the job description, and the owners we had our phone interview with, seemed an excellent fit.  “We’re not very organized,” was a phrase used by the owners several times throughout the interview.  Didn’t seem too alarming at the time because I’m flexible, right?  Certainly ready and willing to adapt and overcome a bit of disorganization! 

Oh boy…

Remember, I’ve been self employed since around 2001 and the discipline that comes with that choice is a blessing and a curse.  Work comes before play ALWAYS!  Get ‘er done was my motto long before Larry the Cable Guy came along.  By the way he’s a Nebraskan also.

Leaving a cabin half clean and calling it “quits” for the day just ain’t in my DNA.  Having a 40 foot+ RV come in at 5 P.M. that “someone” forgot to tell me about when I’m the only one on duty, a few days before we’re booked, is not cool.  And oh yeah, that RV in site #10 is staying an extra day, whoops forgot to tell you that too.  

I know you’re itchin’ for more examples because how can such a small place be so bad that I’d turn and high tail it out of there in 6 weeks?  Sorry, that’s all I’m going to share because I truly hope these oversights that make me crazy are resolved, someday.  

It’s a lovely place surrounded by breathtaking beauty.  I wish them luck and success in whatever it is they are trying to accomplish.  Unfortunately for me, what they are trying to accomplish is still a bit of a mystery.

Every demon that messes with my Personal Balance thrives there, mixed messages, mountains of clutter that prevent timely completion of everyday jobs, broken equipment that can’t be fixed because the tools to fix them are also broken and distractions that result from all of the above and well beyond the length of this blog.

Keep in mind, it’s a 60 mile round trip to the nearest town for supplies, laundry service for cabin towels/linens and the like.  No schedule for supply/laundry trips, just when it becomes a crisis.  

Oh boy…

So I struggle with…..

Is it me?  Am I too inflexible?  Why can’t I just be their work horse, do what I’m told and just deal with the stress and anxiety it causes me?  I’m such a big fat old lady sissy and failure!!

Fuck that!  (pardon my french) 

I’m a horrible liar and even a worse pretender so my frustration begins to ooze out and it’s noticeable.  

That my friends is where this story ends.

The rest got kind of nasty and the last few days sank to a new low.  

Partly because my pretending and playing nice completely dissolved.

There’s no witty “now you know the rest of the story” Paul Harvey ending.

Just lessons learned and the “knowing” of what I need to maintain that balance I’ve worked on through the years has sunken deeper into my Spirit than I’d realized.

That is a good thing!  

It tells me that in order to stay comfortable in my own skin, I have to honor the values that created that comfort in the first place.  

Chaos does not become me.  So I shall be coming to Utah, Wyoming and perhaps Montana, Nebraska, Oregon and who knows where!  

Be true to Self because you always have to live there.